Today, I saw a movie that ended with a prostitute, a high class call girl, giving classes and tips to the wives of the high powered men she had serviced. When the wives showed up at her door, she thought they had come to beat the “cute” out of her since they had earlier accused her of ruining their lives. She was delightfully surprised when they told her that they wanted to know why their husbands, their men, came to her. While I thought that was commendable of them, humbling themselves and coming to their husbands’ prostitute to learn how to keep him, I also thought they must really love their husbands and want their marriages to work by all means if they were willing to stoop so low as to take lessons from this other “woman”, on how to keep their men. They asked, “Why did they keep coming to you?”
Please understand, these men did not simply come to her once, or once in a while; they were her regulars, and they paid her handsomely in cash and gifts for what she offered them. So it was no wonder that these wives were curious. This got me thinking; wouldn’t we all desire to know every little detail, especially were we think it counts the most, about our spouses? Wouldn’t you women like a book called Bob 101 or Matt 101 or Kyle 101, and wouldn’t you husbands love Katie 101 or Shirley 101 or Pam 101? Don’t you just wish you knew exactly what it is that Pam needs so badly that God forbid could push her to the extreme to get it or what it is that Bob needs so much that he could almost do anything to get it?
Hey hubbies please don’t go away thinking to yourselves, ‘do I need to go and find myself some chick that will do me right for my wife to get it?’ No way! That is not the point of citing the movie, and wives; you are certainly not allowed to think of the gardener or pool boy either. The point is this; YES, we know you all think it would be nice if someone else did the homework for us and simply gave us a complete handbook on our individual spouses, as opposed to the generalized “Men are from Mars, women are from Jupiter” guidebook (we are not knocking this title in any way please). But where does that leave the excitement; the pursuit and conquer for you men, and the thrill and stomach knots for you women? Where does that leave the joy of accomplishing something as good as I am getting to know my wife or husband better and more intimately each? Think about our relationship with God, although He gave us the guidebook to His heart, He still left us the responsibility of seeking Him so that we may find Him and come to know Him. We have always been told that good things don’t come easy, and while I strongly disagree with that because I strongly believe in favor, I do know that something as spectacular and personal as knowing your husband or wife that intimately should be a personal experience for you just the same way we would not desire that anyone know the Lord for us, but that each one of us would have our own personal and intimate experiential knowledge of Him.
Pointing back to the movie, the prostitute listed the most mundane and some ridiculous reasons why these husbands came to her, and it made me realize how little a lot of husbands and wives know of each other. Really, I think we all just need to pay attention to our spouses, some husbands want to be honored, some wives want to be heard, some husbands want to be touched, some wives want to be held, some others want their jokes laughed at, while some simply want the liberty to cry.
So back at you, do you know your wife, do you know your husband? Do you want someone else to help you do the knowing or do you want to savor and treasure the “getting to know you” experience all by yourself, the way God intended? Husbands, give your wives a chance to know you so that they can love you accordingly, and wives let your husbands get to know you so that they can cherish you accordingly too.
May the Lord bless you both as you commit to knowing each other intimately and passionately.