I recently spoke with a young lady planning on getting married sometime soon. And as I asked about her plans; hearing about some very exciting and some not so exciting, I came about the question: so, is this for all times or do you have an escape route already planned. It certainly wasn’t a question to be all giddy and smiley faced about, but it was one I felt the need to ask her. After a momentary pause, she looked up and said, “No, my parents divorced when I was four years old and my sister and I still have some daddy issues stemming from that, my sister more than I.” And then she continued, this will be it for me, I don’t believe in divorce.” I was rather pleased, and my spirit leaped for joy at this response, this was a rather young lady who had decided in her heart that she was going to enter into holy matrimony single minded on making it work against all odds. I am not sure of what I was hoping to hear and I probably didn’t think she would say, “oh yeah, of course I have alternate plans…” but her response surely gladdened my heart.
Shortly after my conversation with her, I began to think about so many other couples, and I wondered if they had ever made a decision against divorce. I had to conclude that, as with so many other things, success in marriage starts with one singular decision: to make it work no matter what, because there is no one or situation that God cannot change. However, many have already started out their marriages with an escape route, many pre-plan it rather well with their pre-nuptial agreements, while others simply have it tucked away not too far in their minds that if it doesn’t work out as I IMAGINED then I most certainly will head for the door. And even though a lot of people wouldn’t admit that they have an escape route out of their marriage covenant, it is very well announced to the world, to themselves and to their spouse when they find themselves in the middle o f a heated conversation, and their most common ammunition is the threat to leave and divorce each other. They tell themselves they never mean it, but I can bet you that there are some crafty demons around that help lay the foundation of divorce every time it is used as a threat until it actually happens.
Although the statistics for divorce around us are staggering, there is a lot we can do about it. We can help raise an army against divorce, and start with a decision against it in our own marriages. We can determine that we will no longer permit it to tear at the very core of society while it leaves a trail of damaged men, women and children who are hurting and probably hurting others. We can help educate and inform the ones around us who are planning on getting married about its ghastly effects so that they can be well guided in their vows against it. There is too much at stake when two individuals break this most sacred covenant and path ways to live independently, torn, incomplete and damaged lives. And because of the pain and evil brokenness that it causes, God hates it so much.
Maybe you don’t know where to start in your call into this army against divorce, and maybe you don’t even feel you belong because you have considered it as your escape route when things have gotten out of hand; but you can start by hating it because God hates it, and you can start by believing there is no situation or person God cannot change, and you can start by making a new vow against divorce; to not speak it as an option, to not think it as a way out and to not use it as a threat against your spouse.