Recently, I heard a sermon titled the perfect marriage, it was such a blessing to us that we decided to share some of what we got out of it with you.
The perfect marriage is created by the perfect lover and the perfect submitter. Submission is one of those words that many fear to hear when considering marriage; why should I submit to some man, and will she submit to me? Yeah, I am willing to submit as long as it is on matters that do not involve me giving up ME; my stuff (job, money) or my will. And I am so willing to love as long as she can submit and let me be the MAN. Yes, this is all well and good, but it does not convey what the bible was trying to tell us about how to get the perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage is a mirror of Christ and the church, we know that Christ loved passionately and unconditionally; the love He displayed by going to the cross was not dependent on how we acted and behaved or how well we submitted, and neither was His submission to the mission and ministry of reconciling the world back to God dependent on how submissive we were to Him or to God. So, Christ demonstrated perfect submission, even unto death, just as well as He demonstrated perfect love also unto death. From His example, we can infer that the perfect marriage is one of dying to one’s individual will; the husband loves his wife whether she is submissive or not and she honors, respects and submits to him whether he has earned it or not. When two people truly want to please God in their individual roles in marriage, they look out for the other person’s best interest, and do exactly what is expected from the perfect lover and the perfect submitter.
For the husband, perfect love is summed up in being her priest, protector and provider. Being her priest consists of praying over her to make sure she is always spiritually covered, loving away all of her insecurities, past and present pains and hurts, and making her a blemish free bride by the word of God that you speak over her until she becomes the “Good thing” God says she is. Being her provider is all about providing for her, meeting her needs; not only financially, but emotionally as well. Protecting her consists of creating a sense of security for her regardless of what seems to be going on around her, protecting her from every kind of harm that you can think of; financial, physical or spiritual and making sure she is not open to any physical, spiritual or emotional assault that could be inflicted by anyone or anything/circumstance. Whew, this is huge; yes it is, and that is why the role of a husband is not meant for boys but men.
For the wife, perfect submission is summed up in trust, loyalty and confidence. Being a perfect submitter consists of trusting him, as we are to trust in Christ. It is being loyal to him with your support and honor of him as you assist in the establishment of your family’s vision. It also involves remaining in awe of him, and being confident about his role in your life and your marriage as your head and as the carrier of the vision. Believing in him and believing the best about him because your trust is in the God that is at work in him.
We understand that this may seem a lot to expect from your spouse or to do for them, especially if it currently looks like they are not showing any promise of being remotely like what you desire, but if you would commit to being the perfect lover or the perfect submitter regardless of your current marital situation, and decide to do this as your service to God through your marriage, be rest assured that God Himself will reward your labor of love if you faint not, and bear in mind that He is able to turn the hardened heart around.
This just might be the very last straw for your marriage, it is the prescription that the word has to offer your marriage, take it in faith, practice it in obedience and watch out for a harvest from your good seed.